Finding joy again after cancer

by Jen Reynolds

Finding a routine and learning what your new normal is post cancer can be a very challenging task. Accepting that we are not the same as we were pre-cancer can sometimes be hard enough in itself.

Some of us go through a form of grieving as we mourn the lost of who we once we. So we fight so hard to get that person to come back, only to realize that cancer has, in fact, changed us. For most, if not all of us, it’s for the better. It just takes time to realize this.

So, How do you find your new normal? First and foremost, I think it’s important to be patient with yourself. Give yourself realistic expectations and know that your hobbies and/or your joys may be different now. Start simple. Make to-do lists even if they consist of the simplest of tasks. While you’re making that list, think of something that might bring you joy that day. Whether it means taking a walk in the park, knitting a hat, or spending time with a loved one.

Always make time for something that will make you smile. Try those things you enjoyed pre-cancer and if it doesn’t bring you the same smile then try something else. It’s ok.

Know that it is ok to join a support group and there is nothing to be ashamed of. Taking away that feeling of isolation can be a huge step in your healing. If a support group isn’t for you, there are other options such as Pink Warrior Angels who can pair you up individually with another survivor to carry you through. I believe this is so important because we may find that we don’t have as much in common with our friends as we move past our diagnosis.

Some of us may even lose friends - know that this is normal and it’s ok. There is nothing wrong with you. Finding women who can relate to what you have been through opens up the door for new friendships. There is something very special in knowing that you have a bond with someone who has walked a similar path and can comfort and guide you through your bad days. Time will heal. This I can promise you, as I have walked in those shoes.

I’ve realized that I am not going to learn how to live my life again overnight. It’s going to take time but for today....if I can’t fly, then I am going to run, and if I can’t run then I am going to walk, and if I can’t walk then I will crawl...and if for some reason I can’t crawl...then I will just continue moving forward because the other option is giving up on life...and that just simply isn't an option.

If nothing else...if nothing else at all...I will be thankful for the day that lies ahead.

Fill your schedule up with positivity and a positive mind will follow.