Back to School

Renae Brumbaugh Green

 

I’ve decided to apply for graduate school. This is a dream I’ve fought with for decades, and the argument has gone something like this:

 

Me: If you get your master’s degree, you can teach at the university level.

 

Myself: If I get my master’s degree, I’ll have to, like, study and stuff.

 

Me: You’re smart. You can do it.

 

Myself: I know I can do it. But I don’t wanna.

 

Me: You could even go for your Ph.D. and be Dr. Brumbaugh Green.

 

Myself: Why would I want to do that?

 

Me: Because it sounds cool. And impressive.

 

Myself: Again . . . why would I want to do that?

 

So, although I haven’t fully convinced myself that this is a good choice, I’ve decided to go for it. I already have a few credit hours, so I could technically be done in a couple of years. Unless I decide to take one class a year. Then it will be a couple of decades.

 

In which case, we could plan a massive all-in-one graduation/funeral party and save on expenses.

 

Now the question is, what field do I want to pursue, for my master’s degree? Something tells me they don’t offer a jack-of-alltrades-master-of-nothing degree. They’re gonna make me pick something.

 

I have several options. I could study more education-related stuff, like Educational Administration, and be a principal.

 

Except I have absolutely no desire to be a principal. The principle lead in a Broadway musical? Yes, please. But a school principal? I’ve seen how hard those people work. No, thank you.

 

I could get a degree in Curriculum and Instruction, so I could, like, write lesson plans and help other people write lesson plans and pretend I like writing lesson plans.

 

Except I don’t.

 

I could pursue music! I have enough undergrad hours in music that I could totally pursue a master’s degree in that. Except, all I do is sing. I don’t play an instrument very well. So, with a master’s degree in vocal performance, I could teach voice lessons and direct choirs and stuff. Which technically, I can already do. And since I probably won’t get a professorship in music without a Ph.D., I’m kinda thinking my time would be better spent auditioning for Broadway musicals.

 

Except, I have no desire to live in New York. Nice place to visit, but I’d miss my chickens.

 

That leaves one option: English.

 

(Heavy sigh.)

 

I love English. I love writing it. I love reading it.

 

Except, I like to write what I want to write, not what someone makes me write. I don’t sound very adademic-y when I write, and something tells me that might be a problem.

 

I like to read historical western romance, with cowboys and stuff. Not Beowulf. Not Dante’s Inferno. Not The Canterbury Tales. (Actually, The Canterbury Tales weren’t bad . . .)

 

So sometime in the next week or so, I’ll go online and figure out how to apply for graduate work in English. And then I’ll try to fake my way through the next thirty-six hours of coursework, and fool my professors into believing I’m intelligent.

 

(I mean, I am smart. But something tells me the word –alec isn’t attached to their desired brand of smartness.)

 

Anyway, pray for me. I’m not sure I’m cut out for this path, or that this path has been cut for me.

 

Then again, I may love being a student, especially since it will most certainly require an all-new collegiate wardrobe. And we all know what a gifted shopper I am.

 

“Study to show yourself approved to God, a workman that needs not to be ashamed . . .” 2 Timothy 2:15.