Columnist doesn’t watch football like a ‘normal’ fan

My son thinks I’m comatose when I watch football on TV and not much better when in the stadium. There are a number of explanations for why he or any other normal, rabid, foaming-at-the-mouth, chew-the-ref, cuss-the-coach football nut case would think something was wrong with drab-don’t-get-excited-and- yell me.