Mother uses child loss to support others
Special to Leader-Press
One in four women in the United States experience infant loss. Ms. Five Hills Lorianne Valois knows the pain all too well. Valois gave birth to a baby boy, Brady, and seven short hours later, he passed away.
At 18 weeks gestation, Brady, was diagnosed with a Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia. CDH is when the diaphragm doesn’t completely close leaving an opening where the lower organs can move up into the chest cavity not allowing the lungs to fully develop and grow, affecting the baby being unable to breathe on his or her own after birth. CDH is a birth defect that affects 2,500 babies ever year and only half of these babies will survive.
“These past two years have not been easy. Aside from grieving, I have struggled with depression, anxiety and PTSD. I have wanted to give up on everything. But, not being afraid to find the help I needed kept me alive,” Valois said. “I serve to let parents who have experienced pregnancy and infant loss know that it’s okay to talk about your loss. It’s okay to remember your angel. It’s okay to ask for help and its okay to find your new normal. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”
During Valois’s hospital stay after losing her son, she was given a Hope Box given to mothers who lost children. The box is beautifully decorated, covered in inspirational quotes and bible verses, and smelling like the scent of lavender.
“I didn’t open the box to know what was inside for a few weeks just because I was too fragile. Eventually, I opened the box to discover the lavender scent came from a bath bomb,” Valois said. “There were other self-care items included along with tea packets, a Bible, a book on grief, and pamphlets from an organization called Hope Mommies.”
Hope Mommies is a nonprofit organization supporting families that have experienced infant loss. All monthly hope gatherings are currently held in Temple and Hope Boxes are currently only being donated to Scott and White Hospital in Temple.
It is Valois’s mission to change this.
“To have the support of others who have experienced infant loss was just what I needed. Even though I keep in touch with the president of the Hope Mommies Central Texas Chapter, I haven’t been able to attend a monthly gathering yet because the meetings are not held locally. This is why I partnered with them during my reign as 2019 Ms. Five Hills,” Valois said.
Valois is co-chairing the 2nd Annual Copperas Cove Multicultural Festival on Oct. 5. The festival is free to the public, but the vendor fees collected will be used to start a Hope Mommies Chapter in the Copperas Cove/Killeen area and Hope Boxes will be donate to Coryell Medical Center and Advent Health.
“I have experienced the worst storm, have more bad days then good. But, I am determined to have my son’s memory live on while being an advocate for others,” Valois said. “Of course, after every storm, there is a rainbow and on August 22, 2018, I was blessed with my rainbow baby, Berkeley. Although she will never take the place of my son, she gave me hope that I can have good days again.”