Parents and Athletics

Often we hear how parents get overzealous with the involvement of supporting their children in athletics. It is common at athletic contests to witness parents being rude and obnoxious in the stands. It is also common to see parents trying to intercede for their children when problems arise.

Although these are common problems, there are many parents providing valuable help to their children as athletes. For example, some parents learn specific techniques of the sport(s) their children participate in from DVD’s. Also, parents ask coaches how they can help their child and receive valuable information.

I have been very impressed over the years with several parents supporting their children in athletics. One specific parent was Robert Griffin II. Mr. (Coach) Griffin worked with his son (RG3) in all sports. In elementary school, Coach Griffin coached his son and taught him how to run and compete. His encouragement was a source of energy and developed a passion with his son to compete on the national level. I have experienced many helpful parents over the years.

Some suggestions to parents when they ask how they can help their child include: learning to ask the right questions, guiding the youngster in developing a purposeful plan, demonstrating how to be positive and supporting their child regardless of their ability. 

Learning to ask the right questions helps the parent to understand the desires of the child. Too many parents try to live through their child and influence them to engage in the sport(s) the parent participated in. Asking questions can include how practice went that day, what was exciting, did you have fun, what did you learn, how can I help you in your training, when is the best time for us to sit down to talk?

Helping your child develop a purposeful plan might be the most important step in guiding the child. If the child wants to be the starting quarterback on the little league football team, first the parent should understand the position and the talent level of their child. Some children desire certain positions but are not suited for the position. Careful consideration and understanding will help guide the youngster’s decision making process. Regardless of the position, the parent should spend time helping the child write down the skills needed for different positions and sports. Help them focus on developing goals and working on a plan to achieve the goal. Developing and working on goals are more important than being consumed with the achievement of the goal. 

Be positive. Regardless of the talent and experiences your child has, stay positive. For example, if the child did not earn the starting quarterback position, there might be an opportunity to play another position. I like the story of Jim Sundberg, the Hall of Fame catcher for the Texas Rangers. Jim tells how positive his father was as he was growing up. He shared a story of how he could not hit a baseball and he began to cry. His father said, “Jim why are you so upset? Although you are not hitting the ball consistently, your swing is getting much better and with lots of practice, someday you will be a great hitter.” By golly, the day came when he was one of the best hitters in the state.

Athletes succeed if they feel supported, encouraged and challenged. If they do not fear letting someone down after a mistake, then they do not have the burden of feeling like they let someone down. This lack of worry allows the brain, body and mind to settle down and just play the game. If a child feels constantly evaluated and judged by everyone around them, they are more likely to make errors under pressure.

Although some parents are out of control, there are many parents providing necessary tools to help their children learn to be successful adults through the medium of athletics. It is obvious when dealing with children, which ones that receive positive instruction from their parent(s).

Thought for the week, “Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn.” Benjamin Franklin